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by caroline mckenzie

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emergence 06:21
bloodless 09:15
black-out 05:55
shadowboxing 06:02


This is the sister album to "the amnesiac's book of ghosts".


Between the 5th and 13th January 2017, I was in hospital for major surgery.

I couldn't sleep for any more than an hour or so at a time, even when given medication to help. Being winter, it was mostly dark, which added to the disorientation - time became notional. Confined to bed and hundreds of miles from home, everything became part of an abstract, unreachable "Outside" - an endless nowhere.

What little I did sleep was accompanied by vividly soundtracked dreams, all blurred, droning, pulsing noises. These were sometimes similar to the machine and environmental noises I could hear around me; as such, I was occasionally uncertain if I was awake or not (or maybe in some state in-between). "bloodless" attempts to capture this - both the sounds and the dislocation, isolation and intensity of that time.

It's a beginning of sorts.

CJM, 12th March 2017.


released March 20, 2017

Thank you to everyone who wished me their best and especially to those who sent cards, gifts and flowers: Christine, Brian, Andrew, Angela, John, Lynsey, Morag, Ann, Marie-Therese and all in Team Murray.

An extra, special thank you is due to Angela for her tremendous help at such a critical time.

Finally, my thanks to all at the Nuffield Health Hospital in Brighton and at Sandyford Central in Glasgow without whom there would be an empty, soundless space where I used to be.

Machine noise, voice and photograph- Brighton, January 2017.
All other sounds - Glasgow, January-February 2017.


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caroline mckenzie Glasgow, UK

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